I guess the two halves ain't supposed to touch....

Thanks Mitch, for the really remarkable insight about bread and its filler. If you don't know this joke, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTKb5xzyqu8&feature=fvsr

In a similar vein but opposite vein, my bagel halves touch all the time, but mostly because I don't buy bagels. Also because I found all these OTHER reasons to eat cream cheese.

Alright, so the lox and cream cheese idea is old hat. Taste great, but we've all been there before. And if you haven't, GO there for breakfast. We've all made spinach dip before too. Again, good, but not for this post.

To be honest, these adventures in cream cheese

came from another moment of desperation in my kitchen. Moving out in less than in a month means using up all your food in the kitchen. (Who wants to cart food from one place to another? not me.)
The first idea incorporates the good ol kale leaf. It was a pretty simple idea, but tasted so much better than I anticipated.

I coated a skillet with a bit of butter, added ripped pieces of kale, and thin slices of carrot. Toss to coat, let them sizzle a little. The kale should start to soften up. After about 3 minutes of this, add...... 2 tbsp of cream cheese! Let it soften and mix it in to the best of your ability. It should start really sizzling now. Add a pinch or

two of salt. Let this cook for another 3 minutes, until it seems like there's some burning happening. You could add other things to this ensemble, but I fried an egg, and it was the perfect compliment. For whatever reason, the slightly cooked cream cheese gave the kale a really round, tender taste. It gave the sentiment of fried food without being fried food.

Alright, let's be real - who's really going to make cream cheese kale? I haven't the foggiest idea, but if you're brave and want a fast tasty salad, give it a whirl.

Here's another, more acceptable thing to do with cream cheese: make date nut spread for bread or muffins. I think my rational for this went something like this "hmm, I have these wonderful dates for eating... I'll make date nut bread... hmm, these dates are really plump and sweet, why would I hide them in a bunch of flour?.... f' date nut bread, I'll make date nut spread!" As I discovered with the spinach pasta, the flavor and nutritional content of some ingredients are much better suited to be featured than incorporated.

So here's what to do:

• Soften the dates by soaking them for 7-10 mins in a cup of hot hot coffee and 1 tsp of baking soda.
• Put dates, 2 tbs pecans, and 6 peanuts in a processor with a bit of the leftover coffee
• Pulse until chopped fairly small
• Add a few knife-full slabs of cream cheese (I think about 5 tbs) and process till fairly smooth
• Add a drizzle of honey all over the top of this in whatever cool pattern you like, pulse again to incorporate
• Add pinches of salt to taste

That's it! Careful, the dates make this very sweet, but the nutty flavor grounds it. It's really great on muffins, banana bread, and.... well, okay bagels.